lisamoe

So yesterday I was reading along in a mystery novel by Nancy Pickard. Briefly, it's about a creepy guy with no past who has apparently murdered a little deaf girl. Along the line you find out a little about the creepy guy's childhood and it's mysterious and tragic too, though he's still quite creepy.  Anyway, the tough district attorney is talking to the protagonist, a true crime writer ,and says about the murderer, "That is why it's so important for adults to be nice to kids. Every damn, annoying one of them. Smile at every kid, I tell people, because that may be the only smile they get from any adult all week long. If I catch any of my assistants being rude to children I tell them, congratulations, you just helped create another alienated, miserable human being."   

That really spoke to me.   And is one reason I try to treat kids with as much kindness as I can, even when they annoy me.   Because I don't know what a child is already having to go through in life and I definitely don't want to be part of whatever turns that kid into the next generation's misanthrope, basket case, or sociopath.   It's my tiny investment in living in a more civil and less frightening world when I'm an old lady.

I saw this in the k-2homeschool community and it really struck a chord with me. Thanks wifeymom! Hope you don't mind me reposting it.

How to Answer the Socialization Question Once and for All by Marsha Ransom

I am beginning to tire of the many articles, essays and responses I keep running across on what has become to be known as the "socialization question."

Homeschooling families, please listen carefully: What people refer to as socialization is a non-issue! It has become a buzz-word among the Official Homeschool Nay Sayers Society. When someone asks you the question ("What about SOCIALIZATION!?"), I suggest you begin by asking them, "What do you mean by socialization?" They will more than likely proceed with some variation on the following theme: "You know, having your kids spend time with other kids their age. Hanging out with their friends, stuff like that." At that point do not, under any circumstances respond with, "Oh my little Susie gets plenty of socialization! She's in 4-H and Awanas, and Sunday school and HomeSchool band and she volunteers at the nursing home etc.etc. etc. In fact she has so many opportunities for socialization that I hardly have time to teach her some days..YaDa YaDa YaDa." Why not? Because this is not what socialization really is!

Here is a more appropriate response: "Oh, I think the word you are looking for is socializing. Socialization is actually defined as the process by which the norms and standards of our society are passed from one generation to the next. I've never really thought that a complete strangers six-year old child would be a good source of information on the correct standards of behavior in our family and in society as a whole. As for socializing, I remember from my school days that it was something you weren't supposed to be doing during class!"

We do not have to defend homeschooling based on false assumptions, false accusations, and false information. Please stop telling others about all the opportunities your kids have for "socialization" and start gently exposing them to the real issue here-- a lot of what kids learn from other kids in social situations is simply living according to "The Law of the Jungle." In our family, we have a higher set of laws to follow and I bet your family does too. Next time, don't be afraid to say so!

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