(no subject)

[lisamoe]

I saw this in the k-2homeschool community and it really struck a chord with me. Thanks wifeymom! Hope you don't mind me reposting it.

How to Answer the Socialization Question Once and for All by Marsha Ransom

I am beginning to tire of the many articles, essays and responses I keep running across on what has become to be known as the "socialization question."

Homeschooling families, please listen carefully: What people refer to as socialization is a non-issue! It has become a buzz-word among the Official Homeschool Nay Sayers Society. When someone asks you the question ("What about SOCIALIZATION!?"), I suggest you begin by asking them, "What do you mean by socialization?" They will more than likely proceed with some variation on the following theme: "You know, having your kids spend time with other kids their age. Hanging out with their friends, stuff like that." At that point do not, under any circumstances respond with, "Oh my little Susie gets plenty of socialization! She's in 4-H and Awanas, and Sunday school and HomeSchool band and she volunteers at the nursing home etc.etc. etc. In fact she has so many opportunities for socialization that I hardly have time to teach her some days..YaDa YaDa YaDa." Why not? Because this is not what socialization really is!

Here is a more appropriate response: "Oh, I think the word you are looking for is socializing. Socialization is actually defined as the process by which the norms and standards of our society are passed from one generation to the next. I've never really thought that a complete strangers six-year old child would be a good source of information on the correct standards of behavior in our family and in society as a whole. As for socializing, I remember from my school days that it was something you weren't supposed to be doing during class!"

We do not have to defend homeschooling based on false assumptions, false accusations, and false information. Please stop telling others about all the opportunities your kids have for "socialization" and start gently exposing them to the real issue here-- a lot of what kids learn from other kids in social situations is simply living according to "The Law of the Jungle." In our family, we have a higher set of laws to follow and I bet your family does too. Next time, don't be afraid to say so!

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Comments

[nxtwothou.livejournal.com]

Honestly, the more I hear about the violence in school these days, the less I would want any children I might have had picking up those habbits.

[lisamoe.livejournal.com]

Today at the playground some kids were trying to push Jesse around. Apparently they had mistaken him for a kid they knew from school and push around there. Even with all the metal detectors and police and tasering kids, it still seems that there's a lot of plain ol' bullying and nastiness. I really want my kids to focus on learning instead of worrying if they're going to make it through lunchtime without bruises or people calling them names or teaching them prejudice or stealing from them or any number of other things. Anyway, I'm sure some kids thrive in public school. I did fine myself most of the time, but I think it's worse now than when we were kids.

[montykins.livejournal.com]

I don't know . . . I actually prefer the "In fact she has so many opportunities for socialization that I hardly have time to teach her some days" answer to the "Socialization is actually defined as the process by which" answer. I mean, isn't it possible that the question comes not from the "Official Homeschool Nay Sayers Society", but from someone who doesn't realize that just because kids are homeschooled doesn't mean they never get to go outside or meet kids outside of their own family?

[lisamoe.livejournal.com]

The thing is, if you homeschool, you get that question from a lot of people. And frequently in a tone of voice that indicates that they disapprove, rather than in a neutral sort of questioning way. If someone seemed actually interested in what opportunities there are for homeschool kids to get out with other kids I'd be happy to list what my kids do, but usually people who are asking that question specifically are asking with a "gotcha" sort of tone, like they're thinking that maybe you didn't even think about socialization when you decided to do this insane homeschooling thing. It gets tiring and it puts the homeschooling family on some sort of weird defensive, where we have to suddenly justify to complete strangers how we're raising our kids. I think the answer above is both informative and thoughtful and if the person is actually interested in knowing, they could always follow up with specific questions about what kind of activities there are for homeschoolers.

[buckyduckman.livejournal.com]

Socialization, a word used both those who believe the pointy corners of potentially square pegs should be forcibly shaved off through bullying and intimidation by peers and instructors until they can fit into round holes.
Socialization, a newspeak word used by fearful adults typically indentifiable by their strict lemming-like behavior and the deep suspicion given to anything they do not understand. Sometimes they can be indentified by their children who often are seen wearing only the most fashionable clothing while their overly busy parents can't even name their home room teacher.

Home schooling is just a family centric, personal decision. I know some people who do it because of their religion. I've seen it chosen because a parent didn't want to medicate a child with A.D.H.D. just to fit into a school system. I've seen it because a kid was kicked out of school and it was the only choice left to a parent. I've seen it picked because of scheduling (when the kid was a performer, for example, or, the parents traveled extensively). Heck, I've even seen it with a kid who was much too gifted for snail pace of regular school. The common thread is this: the kid. Parents home school because they care about their kid. Because they want to make sure their child has the skills and knowledge they will need to successfully navigate the world.

What a crock it is every time I've heard someone say, "but what about socializing the kid?" Just because a kid is being home school does NOT mean the child is being raised in a bubble. Home schooled kids are some of the busiest kids I know and the most challenged. As an employer of teens, the best teen workers I hire are those who have home schooling in their background.

Do we home school? No. We considered it, but it wasn't the best choice for us. Instead, we're a real pain in the ass to the school system and a few individual teachers. What pisses me off is the bullshit implication to the concept of "socialization." It says more about the person who says the word than anything else. My advice (not that you're looking for any, but hey, it's free advice and worth every penny of it): the next time someone asks, "what about socializing your child?" Smile, nod your head, thank them for thinking for you, since they apparently believe that thought hadn't occurred to you, and start taking very small steps backwards from them. Alternatively, you can stand your ground and invite them to think about some other things for you. Surely this person will be more than happy to entertain you by telling you exactly how you should feel about a wide variety of topics.

[lisamoe.livejournal.com]

Much love.

I don't ever ask public school users impertinent questions about their school choice and it's not because I can't think of any. I just don't think people ought to be judgemental about other people's choices unless someone is clearly being injured by said choices. I figure for the most part everyone's trying to do what's best for their own family and it's not really my business. Would that everyone felt that way.